When people think about psychopathic crazy lunatics they think about people with ADD who bang their heads against the wall and are foaming at the mouth. The truth is those lunatics do all that lunatic shit in private, in their head they are lunatics. It’s very easy to conceal the fact that you might be fucked up in the head. I hide my true self. On the outside I’m a normal dude, but on the inside I dream about having glorious sex with unconscious people.
My name is Shawn and as you can tell, I’m a fucking weirdo. I don’t know when exactly in my life these thoughts came into my head. I remember when I was about 8 or 9 years old I would take a Barbie doll, strip it of all it’s clothes, and stroke her breasts and her vagina. I would sometimes do this for hours and lose track of time. I was in my own little world.
This fantasy grew when I was in high school. Oh god it was hard to control my lustful thinking towards women. I just couldn’t help thinking that way. Every time I would see an attractive classmate, I would get very aroused. I was a very, very horny teenager. There was one time where I decided to act on these urges.
In an Agriculture class, we were working in groups on some project. There was a girl named Vanessa who was sitting right next to me. I remember she had luscious, shiny legs that were fully exposed to my vision. At one point I was in sort of a trance and I lightly touched her legs. I remember being in a state of euphoria. I slid my hand to her thick thighs and closer to her vagina. I was getting close. Then she swatted my hand away and screamed. She called me a pervert. I looked as though I didn’t know what I was doing, or that I was doing anything wrong. Apparently I was clearly doing something wrong.
I got suspended for a week and was removed from any future classes I would have with Vanessa. I did not regret my choice in stroking her legs. I wanted to do it again. The only problem was that I would get rejected and women wouldn’t give me the chance to enjoy. Even though they would where wear clothes that made it seem like they were asking to be violated. That was the moment when I realized that I need to drug women in order for them to not resist my temptations.
I knew that my mother had sleeping problems and she used this unknown medication that she would tell me to never use because it was “really strong”. She never kept the prescription bottles, so I never knew what she actually used. I remember I had a day off from school and I found her baggie of the mysterious pills. I thought if this works on my mother, then it would work on other people, specifically girls. From that moment all I could do was wait for the perfect moment for me to have my way.
It was a couple months after I graduated from high school. I remember going somewhere in town and bumping into one of my classmates. I believe her name was Melissa. We chatted as we were walking along the sidewalks. After about 30 minutes of talking, I suggested that we should get something to drink. Thankfully there was a nearby coffee shop. She agreed and we went in. I remember while we were waiting for our beverages to be done, she needed to go to the bathroom for whatever reason. My heart nearly skipped a beat, this was my chance.
When she left, the drinks were ready. I quickly went to sit down. I pulled out a bag of the Rohypnol and removed one pill from the bag. I then dropped the pill in her drink. I watched as that beautiful pill dissolved. I knew that this was going to work.
She came back and sat down across from me. She started talking about herself. I wasn’t listening to her. I was waiting for her to lose consciousness. Within about a minute she started fading. She fell out of her chair. I quickly got up and carried her to my car. People were asking what was wrong with her and I told them that she had these “episodes”. When I placed her in my car, I sped home. I didn’t want this opportunity to go to waste.
I got home and thankfully nobody was home. I knew this of course because my mother usually worked during the day. I grabbed Melissa out of my car, unlocked the front door, and proceeded to my room. I opened my door to my room and threw her lifeless body on the bed. I stared at her for a while and I remember telling myself “I’m going to have some fun with you, my dear”. From there you can probably tell what happened. I took off all of her clothes and I had glorious, glorious sex with her. She didn’t resist because she was unconscious, which meant that I could have my way with her. It was the best day of my life.
The next morning I left the house to get something for breakfast. Sometimes I would purposefully wake up a little early to get some breakfast. I was thinking about what I should do with Melissa. At this point I didn’t really care what happened to her, I’ve had my 3 to 4 hours of fun with her not knowing about.
When I got home I took my time eating my breakfast. When I was done, I headed upstairs to my room. I opened the door and saw that Melissa wasn’t there. It seemed like she took all of her belongings with her. At first I was worried, but then I kind of shrugged it off and thought that It wasn’t my problem where she went.
She’s gone and now it’s time to find someone else. I realized that I didn’t have to deal with her bitching and moaning and telling me how wrong it was for me to do such a thing to her. I didn’t care what she thought about it. I got my way and that’s all that mattered.
I texted a girl that I knew from school, her name was Georgina, and asked if she would meet me somewhere for something to eat. She said she would be there in about 20 to 30 minutes. Holy shit, this is great. I got myself ready and made sure to grab the pills, that was my only priority.
I met her at this restaurant that served pretty much everything, burgers, pizzas, whatever. We sat down and chatted and ordered our food. We ate our food and talked some more. I was getting very, very anxious and I couldn’t sit still. I thought that she wouldn’t give me my moment to drug her. I don’t want to listen to her talk anymore, I wanted to fuck her. Then she got up to go to the bathroom, just like Melissa.
I got so fucking excited that I nearly pissed myself. I quickly reached into my pocket and grabbed the bag of pills. I struggled in trying to open the bag. My hands kept slipping from the damn bag. I finally opened the bag and grabbed one of the pills. As I reached over to put it into her glass and the rest of the pills spilled onto the floor. I remember shouting and cursing as I was trying to scoop them up. My mind was racing. Then I heard a voice. I looked up. It was Georgina. Fuck.
She asked me what I was doing. She looked very frightened. I stood there frozen when a thought wandered into my brain. She pretty much already knows about the pills. She doesn’t know that I was going to use them on her. So I thought why not try to fuck her right now. The jig was up so I lunged at her and tackled her to the ground. I was mindlessly licking her and trying to unzip my pants. While this was going on I’m pretty sure people were calling the police, but it didn’t phase me. I was still technically fucking her right? Georgina was probably screaming but I couldn’t really hear it I was concentrating on fucking her.
Then I felt someone violently pull me off of Georgina. I could tell it was a man because of his firm grip. He threw me to the ground and put me in handcuffs.
That was when I knew that I wasn’t going to get out of this.
After that I had to speak with several cops and a couple psychologists who asked me the same questions multiple times.
When did you start?
What triggered this behavior?
Why did you start?
You know what I told them? I told them that women ask for it most of the time. Women choose to wear things that make them look irresistible and when they say they’re not trying to use their bodies and their lack of clothing to make them seem like they want it, they are lying. They want to feel wanted. Georgina and Melissa and Vanessa say that they didn’t want to be sexually harassed, then why did they wear such tight, revealing clothing? Are they trying to play mind games with men or are they just stupid and think that nobody’s going to try to fuck them because of what they’re wearing? But what they don’t understand is that I saw through that. I acted and made them realize that it’s them, not men, who are the reasons why they get harassed.
So when those people ask me why I’m such a monster, I say “it’s because they wanted it”.