I get the text right after school.
"There is something I need to tell you."
And then he completely stop texting me, I start freaking out, and I start bombarding his phone with texts as to what it is.
Finally a response. "I'll tell you tonight, it's not something I should tell you over text. It has to be in person."
I throw my phone on my bed, and starting crying. After what he told me last night, what the Hell more could there be??
I stare at the ceiling plugging myself into my music. I rock my head with the music, trying to rock and knock out all the negative thoughts plaguing my mind.
I grab my phone again, shooting a text that I had a band concert to go to of my sisters, that he could come over for dinner and tell me then.
I tap my foot nervously, wondering what the Hell to do with myself. Just sitting waiting like a dog for a bone. I walk downstairs wondering around until six to leave for the concert. I repeatedly open and close the fridge, expecting food that actually looks good to appear. But it never does, obviously.
"Time to go." my sister yells from the stairs, running down and jumping on my back excitedly. "Let's go, let's go. I'm gonna be late." I smile at her excitement, and we all bundle up for the cold and go squeeze into the car.
I sit there, worrying and fretting, making myself sick to my stomach, the whole way. What could he possibly have to tell me after that bomb shell last night? I sit in a daze throughout the whole concert, absentmindedly clapping when it was appropriate, standing and walking like a zombie through doors to leave.
I make it home, still in a daze, the thoughts flooding my mind, hoping and praying nothing is horribly wrong. I run upstairs to grab some money, wanting to walk to the gas station to get a soda. Walking out the door, I almost run into him.
I plaster on a fake smile, "Babe! I'm just walking to get a soda. Wanna come?" he nods, he also in almost a zombie state.
He grabs my hand, stuffing it in his pocket thankful for the warmth, to the bitter cold air. "So, um, what is it you needed to tell me?" I ask, jumping right in. Not even considering small talk to lead up to it.
He stays quiet for a while, absentmindedly running his thumb over my knuckles, over and over again. I look up at his face, seeing tears yet again forming in his eyes. "I'm going back to jail..." he murmurs practically to himself. I stop dead in my tracks, staring at the ground in disbelief.
"But w-why? What did you do this time?" I couldn't help the accusing tone in my voice. He winces, squeezing the hand he still was holding.
"I broke probation. Curfew, and I went to that football game with you at the school." The pain in my chest takes over my body, realizing he's going back because of me.
"Why if you knew you could get in trouble, why would you have come to the game? Why would you stay at my house til midnight every night?" I ask, the guilt overwhelming my body, to the point I can't breathe.
"I needed to get my foot in the door, needed to get that dumbass Matthew out of the way. That's why I came to the football game." I wince at the sound of the biggest mistake I'd ever made. "And curfew has been practically every night since I got out. That wasn't just you, and I know you well enough I know you're blaming yourself. Well stop, I knew what I was doing and I make my own choices."
I shake my head slightly, "When do you go back?" I muster up the breath to ask.
"Well," he starts, pulling me along towards the gas station. "My PO is coming to talk to me tomorrow, so probably tomorrow, or the next day." he frowns, knowing that this is hurting him too. "I don't know when I'm coming back, so I won't hate you if you won't wait til I get back. But just know, I'll fight to get you back. Cause no matter what I'm coming back for you."
My face warms at his words, as we walk into the gas station, "Well you won't have to fight anyone, I'll be waiting here for when you get back."
He looks down at me, surprise gleaming in his eyes, and he gives me a huge smile. "Ok, but I won't blame you if you don't." I just send him a grin, as tears threaten to fall, and my heart is breaking inside.