I had to be dreaming, or at least having some parallel universe, outer body experience. Because there was no way on god's green earth that my older brother was currently stood in my doorway wearing a bikini and beach skirt. It just wasn't possible; it was against the very laws of nature and quite a few of the constitutional kind, that Paul was sporting a pink and brown two-piece in front of me.
"Please" I began, putting down my book and sitting up on my bed, "tell me that I'm having some strange episode of quantum bleep, and you're not really stood in front of me wearing... that" I eyed the two piece again before meeting his soft grey eyes.
"Okay, first of all: do you even know what quantum bleep is?" he asked, shuffling into my room and sitting on the computer chair. Rolling my eyes I got up and shut the door, before returning to my bed.
Is it really that hard to close a door, people?
"Of course not, who do I look like; you? Besides, you're avoiding the question. What the hell are you wearing? And you do realise it's still winter right?" Shifting around uncomfortably on the chair, he began picking at the material of the sheer skirt, remaining silent. I let out a sigh at his lack of response and picked up my book and continued to read.
Clearly he was having some kind of mid-teen crisis.
"Mom's gone crazy, Jack." I heard him mumble, five minutes later, as we both heard a crash from downstairs, "She's finished her spring line and is halfway through the summer one already, she's firing people left and right and I'm pretty sure I've heard her talking about adding crocs to one of the lines. Crocs, Jack! You know how much mom detests crocs! "
"Well shit," I said, raising an eyebrow in Paul's direction. Our mom's a fashion designer and isn't completely horrid at it either. But since our dad left to start up a branch of his company in Spain for the last couple of months, she was throwing herself into her work so much that she was drowning in it. I think not being able to argue with dad was actually starting to get to her.
Throwing my book onto the bedside dresser I sat up a swung my legs off the bed. As much as I love seeing my brother suffer, and I will openly admit that I enjoy causing most of that suffering; seeing him walking around in a bikini was just as much torture for me as it was for him, and my future therapy bill was already in four figure digits.
"Come on, I don't think I can stomach the sight of you in that any longer" I declared as I waltzed out of my room.
What I was greeted to when I walked downstairs was chaos, complete and utter chaos. There was material thrown all around the floor, and my mother was screeching at some poor blonde girl in the hallway.
"I don't care if you had a baby, how do you expect to walk down the runway wearing a bikini with those stretch marks!" the blonde girl's lip began to tremble and she ran out the room, tears spilling from her eyes as my mother groaned in frustration.
"There is so much wrong with this picture mother, I don't even know where to start," I announced as both Paul and I walked down the last few steps and stood before our mother.
"Don't use that tone with me Jacklyn-Marie, I am not in the mood to deal your attitude today!" She ranted, throwing her arms up into the air and storming into her office.
"I'm not giving you attitude mother, I'm trying to tell you that you just sent one of your best model running from the house in tears, and apparently she's not the only one. On top of that the house is a mess; you're working on your summer line when it's only the very beginning of January and you have Paul dressed in a bikini." I gently pulled her away from her desk and walked her over to the two-seat couch against the wall. "And what's this I hear about you adding crocs to the line? You despise crocs mom, you call them the hobos of shoe wear! You need to take a break. Here, have some wine and watch TV or something. Maybe call dad?"
I handed her a discarded glass of wine, then rested my hand on her shoulder. The one thing you don't want to do when mother is stressed is sass her. It only makes things ten times worse; something I learned the hard way.
I felt a small amount of tension leave her body as she sighed and relaxed slightly in her seat. "Your right baby girl" smiling at me slightly, she then turned to Paul before letting out a small giggle, "Go change Paul, heaven knows I've subjected you to enough torture today"
'More like subjected us to enough torture' I thought to myself with a mental scoff.
Smiling, I gave her shoulder a small squeeze before smirking at my brother and skipping back to my room.
Ladies and gentlemen: Jacklyn-Marie.
Just as I was slipping back into the world of Percy Jackson, the Big Bang theme tune broke the silence of my room. "Speak and be heard" I announced after tapping it onto speaker phone.
"Drew is a complete prick! I am so done with him this time, it isn't even funny!" The high-pitched voice of my beloved best friend declared over the line.
Alexandrea Wilson was without a doubt my best friend, mostly because she was the only person outside of my family who I could actually tolerate and not want to punch in the throat. With long blonde hair and crystal like blue eyes, Alex was easily one of the prettiest girls in our grade and could quite honestly date any guy available... if she wasn't so crazy. Which is totally okay because you know, I'm kind of crazy myself, but our crazies are a little different. I am the 'I will remove you head Elijah Mikaelson style if you don't get out of my face' kind of crazy, whereas Alex is the 'I know we've only known each other a few weeks but I can totally see us getting married and having kids' kind of crazy.
Drew Marshall was the only guy around able to handle Alex's crazy and not run for the hills. He was a chill kind of guy, not a lot fazed him and he had this unique ability to transfer his chill over to Alex. Well, most of the time anyway. Sometimes Alex's crazy over-powers Drew's chill and they end up in a huge fight, (over absolutely nothing the majority of the time) and Alex declares their relationship to be over. Two weeks later they are making out on the hood of Drew's car. It was a vicious cycle, but one that undoubtedly worked.
"What happened this time?" I inquired in a bored tone. Just because I love Alex, it doesn't mean that I'm not 110% over her and Drew's merry-go-round of a relationship.
"He told me he had to cancel dinner tonight because he forgot it's James' birthday today. I mean we made these plans last week and now he wants to cancel them because it's some random guy's birthday? Like seriously, what the fuck?!"
Oh, good god. I sigh deeply before replying.
"Alex, you're being clingy again. Stop it. And James and Drew are cousins, remember? Drew brought him to the carnival last month. I imagine the family are doing something for him and Drew just forgot. Chill."
Like I said, she's slightly crazy.
"And he couldn't have invited me? I'm his girlfriend for Christ sakes. Ugh, whatever, we're done and I'm over it"
"Yeah, okay" I scoff in response to the blatant lie.
"Shut it. Anyway, I need some serious retail therapy and some dishes. I threw them at Dickface. Pick you up in ten?"
"Wait, what? You threw... You know what, forget it. And no to the mall. My book is just about to get interesting and I'm not leaving the comfort of my bed. Come by later and show me what you've picked up."
"Jack, are you even dressed?"
Looking down at my Batman pyjamas I pursed my lips. "I have clothes on..."
"You're still in your pyjamas aren't you? Seriously Jack, it's like 11:30, get in the damn shower, we're going shopping. I'll be there in 20 minutes"
And before I had a chance to respond, Alex hung up the phone.
There goes my chill day.